Pants 0. Shit 1.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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