I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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