Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize