someone get that fucking seahorse.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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