It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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