chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
