she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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