We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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