I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
