i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
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I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize