If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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