I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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