bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm passing your future prison.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My breasts were aching with rage.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
