honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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