tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize