Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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