there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
