Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
