We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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