In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
