i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
