Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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