between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
either way he was missing a nipple.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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