Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
