Dignity is for republicans.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
