You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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