Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
