I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
