And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
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