Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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