I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have already put on my inside pants.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
