I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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