the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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