your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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