My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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