If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I cut my penus on the lid.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
