So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
