this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
