idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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