Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
