I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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