it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
so much tequila, so little girl.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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