She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
