you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
