I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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