i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
