and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
