Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
