You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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