I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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