is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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