Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
