Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
