While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
