so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
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