I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
