More tranny stories later!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
