It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
