she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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