i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
