What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize