Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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