Me. At least after what I've been through.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
