I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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