I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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