no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
