community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
