What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
