Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
